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about 1000 days of daring greatly

"1000 days of Daring Greatly" is a personal project by Yummii

The project is based on the book; "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown

For 1000 days, Yummii has set out to take action and be in the arena of her life. She is to discover the realm of Daring Greatly.

Her journey is about discovering courage, vulnerability, and ultimately, mastering the art of living wholeheartedly - and being wholehearted.

Entries in Don Miguel Ruiz (4)

Wednesday
Jan182017

Day 285: Daring to be curious

We are in Luang Prabang - We are staying in a glorious hotel with a view of the mountains and the town.

Our room has a private terrace that overlooks the mountain range. Throughout the day I can hear the birds chirping, experience the butterflies dancing, and the gentle kiss of mother nature's breathe throughout our room.

It is divine. It is bliss.

I'm sitting on our day bed in our room, looking out at the majestic blue sky and the glow of the sun - This was where I chose to meditate. The setting was majestic. 

It is one of those scenes that creates a song in your heart and your soul is nourished. It is a feeling of "home". A place of safety, comfort, and love.

Earlier this morning I was annoyed with a certain circumstance with family from back home. I felt tense. My being was consumed with righteousness and judgement. I could feel the physical sensations of the muscles contracting, my breathing was shallow and heavy, and my energy was stagnant. I was in "fight" mode. 

I closed my eyes and started meditating. The strained feelings and my subjective opinions about what happened this morning kept gliding through my mind. The thoughts would go in and out. I was observing my breathing, observing these thoughts. The majestic setting that I was so grateful to be witnessing was not in my consciousness. For 25 minutes, my consciousness was swaying between mindful breathing and mindless thoughts on being righteous and judgmental. The latter was dominant.

My mind kept replaying the scenario, then I would catch myself and go back to breathe. Then the thoughts would make their way back to the forefront of my mind... They would play for a while then I catch myself and go back to breathe.

As I heard the bell chime to signal the end of the meditation, I opened my eyes to the serene and blissful setting. 

The irony I thought. This was a clear demonstration and example of not being present. 

I took a deep breathe and a calmness swept over me. 

I remembered one of the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz - "Don't take things personal". Nothing people say or do is because of you - they are living in their own reality. It is never personal and it is their truth.

I started getting curious about the other person's point of view. How they were feeling. What life would have been like for them. What the experience of the circumstance may have been. I did the best I could to empathise with their reality.

The curiosity dissolved the hold on my being caused by my own experience of righteousness and judgement. 

When righteousness and judgement kicks in, we are no longer whole. Wholeness is love. Wholeness is understanding. Wholeness is compassion. In wholeness, there is unity and connection.

Righteousness and judgement disconnects. It separates our mind and our heart. The fight mode within us kicks in. 

Curiosity allows us to rekindle that connection - to see the humanity that is in all of us. To be curious is to be open. To be curious creates a space of new understanding and new insights. Curiosity expands our hearts.

Curiosity requires us to let go of our existing beliefs - this liberates us from the chains of our closed minds. 

The endeavour to be curious allowed me to experience wholeness again. No longer needing to be right and making the other person wrong, or needing validation that my feelings of righteousness and judgement were warranted.

I could sit in the space of "what is" and accept the circumstance with peace and compassion. For both of us.

Tuesday
May312016

Day 270: Daring to not take things personally

I believe our children are our teachers as much as we are theirs.

Our little boy is now one month old. 

As with all circumstances, everyone loves their own opinion and is more than willing to give advice. I believe the underlying intention is borne from goodness and contribution; and it can come from a place of fear within themselves. I am guilty of this behaviour.

"Don't hold him too much - he will get use to you...", "He will get dependant on you if you keep going like this",..."You're developing a bad habit by holding him...", "Why is he crying so much?"...

The list goes on.

Each time I hear an opinion or a judgement that doesn't align with my values or beliefs, I notice myself wanting to defend him, protect him, defend my position, protect my position. I notice I judge the judgement.

Therefore, I become the one judging.

My world and thinking becomes really small - I am reactive and protective. The 'fight' mechanism in my brain is switched on.

Being aware of this I observe myself, I observe the circumstance, the conversation, and I observe my story about the circumstance.

One of the most powerful teachings I have come across is "Nothing is personal - Don't take anything personal. Anything anyone says or do is borne from their own reality" - It is one of the agreements from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

This powerful agreement allows us to be in the present moment, stand in our own power, and have the capacity for love, acceptance, and choice. In living this agreement, the power is in having respect for another's reality and their story of life - without it hindering our true self.

... And it is an ongoing mastery.

I believe this is the lesson and teaching our son has bought to the light for me. For if I want to share the wisdom of "Not taking things personally", it is something that I am to demonstrate and live by. Our children don't learn from our words, they learn from our actions and who we express ourselves to be in this world.

When we don't take things personally, we develop empathy, compassion, love, understanding, curiosity, and wonderment. We are curious and interested in another's reality, their story of the world around them, their heartbreak, their disappointments, their joys, their loves, their journey. It is in understanding human being that we are continuously challenging the boundaries of our own thinking and beliefs - therefore opening ourselves to unlimited possibilities.

With the opinions and advice we have received to date with parenting, I noticed that they come from a fear of a future that hasn't happened. A fear of dependency, a fear of developing bad habits, a fear of imperfection, a fear of loss of control, a fear of an incapable human being.

Fear of the future is something that takes us out of the present moment - It is also the water that nourishes the emotions of guilt and worry; and robs us of joy and acceptance. 

Thank-you Avery for your space - I am grateful for the lesson.

Daring to not take things personally - A moment by moment awareness. 

Monday
Oct192015

Day 224: Daring to practice letting go of self-importance

The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz is a book that has positively impacted my life.

One of the agreements is, Never take anything personally. 

“Don't take anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering”

Today, I have been feeling "a little despair" - The disappointment of how my start-up is performing (or under-performing) is something that I'm allowing to impact me. 

I realised I was taking the circumstance personally.

When we are easily offended, upset, playing the victim, experience entitlement - we are placing an illusion on our self-importance. 

We take things personally.

We loose our sense of being wholehearted as the perception of our "self" has been disrupted.

When we see our "self" as whole, we see other's as whole, we see the perfection in the circumstance - no matter what the circumstance may be. The realm of "importance" on the self doesn't exist. Within this realm, there is peace, there is a stillness, there is trust, there is faith.

I was suffering from the illusion of "self-importance". 

"Self-importance" robs us of empathy, of standing in our own power, and the experience of being wholehearted.

The irony of "self-importance" is that we place our power and our view of ourselves on something external to us - whether it be another's opinion or the outcome of a circumstance. We passively deflect the responsibility and accountability of choosing to see ourselves as wholehearted.

Letting go of the illusion of "self-importance" is a stepping stone in the journey of choosing to be wholehearted.

Monday
Dec012014

Day 47: Daring to show up and do my best

The Fourth Agreement from The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz inspired me to take action today.

In the realm of living, breathing, and exploring courage, we are to do the things we fear the most. We are to do the things and take the actions that we are afraid of.

This is the playground and mastery of courage. In doing things we aren't good at, and doing our best - courage is what we allow to shine through and exercise. 

For the last 3 years on the business, there are tasks that I find really challenging, tasks that tests my patience, and tasks which bring up doubt and fear.

... And I remind myself to constantly show-up and do the best I can with what I have, and what I know.

Today, I tackled the same task I have been doing with angst for the last 3 years; yet there was peace. There was a sense of being proud, a sense of 'conquer', and a sense that I'm doing my best.

Instead of judgement and criticism, or only seeing where I'm falling short and failing - I revelled in knowing that I'm showing up and doing my best. 

Courage is what allows one to grow, to continuously strive, and to be relentless. Courage is the mastery of becoming. Courage is the ingredient that propels us forward to do our best - everyday, regardless of the talent, and the knowledge.

Courage allows us to find a way. Always.

Daring to show up and do my best. Daring to exercise the muscle of courage.

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What would it be like to revel in knowing that you are showing up and doing your best? What would it be like to allow yourself to know that you are doing your best? What would it be like to put aside judgement, comparison, and criticism?