about 1000 days of daring greatly

"1000 days of Daring Greatly" is a personal project by Yummii

The project is based on the book; "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown

For 1000 days, Yummii has set out to take action and be in the arena of her life. She is to discover the realm of Daring Greatly.

Her journey is about discovering courage, vulnerability, and ultimately, mastering the art of living wholeheartedly - and being wholehearted.

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Day 289: Daring to confront the envy

Envy is an emotion that brings up shame.

It can lead one down the rabbit hole of experiencing inadequacy, doubt, and anxiety.

I'm uncomfortable with myself when I feel envy; and it is an emotion that I regard as "weak".

The thing with emotions is that they are harmless. 

Emotions are energy. Energy needs to move through and flow. 

The narrative that we create about the emotion is what binds us and limits us. This is where emotions can get trapped and if the narrative is on repeat, the same reality shows up. 

There is a quote that I love; “A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.” 

When I feel envious, I remind myself of this quote. At times, the quote can equalise the emotion, other times, I can feel the physical reactions produced from the emotion of envy. Shallow breathing, tense muscles, and a locked jaw.

The key to emotions that produce a negative response within us is to surrender, allow, and accept it for what it is. This is easier said than done.

When envy arises within me, I judge myself. I consider it a bad emotion. I "should" know better than to feel envious. 

I have an experience of feeling inadequate when envy shows up. 

Today, I started getting curious and wanting to understand the sub-conscious belief under envy. What is it about envy that makes me react? What is it about envy that causes discomfort?

A particular conversation was shared in the past week and I noticed myself getting envious. 

I questioned my choices. I doubted my path. Comparison kicks in. 

Should I be where they are at? Did I make the wrong choices in life? Did I do life wrong? Why does it feel like I am consistently making mistakes? Is there something that they are doing that I should be doing?! Why do I feel like I'm 'behind' in life? 

The sub-conscious belief that has been hidden under this experience of envy, is "I make mistakes - I make wrong choices - I can't trust myself".

When you shine a light on what has been hidden in the shadows of your mind, the shadow no longer follows you. You are now aware of what it is, where it is, and you have an opportunity to create a new narrative and a new belief. 

It feels raw to confront hidden beliefs that limit us from feeling whole. 

When we are wholehearted, we trust ourselves even when we make mistakes. When we are wholehearted we believe in ourselves even when we make choices that don't have the outcome that we are expecting. Choices are learning experiences, a wholehearted human being doesn't judge their choice.

I am realising there is a strong correlation between living courageously and feeling wholehearted.

It is our duty to question beliefs that are in opposition to our experience of being wholehearted. One can only live a life daring greatly and courageously when one believes in one's wholeness. 

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